How can, will you determine if your potential wife was given to you be God? Do not worry! This topic also can be beneficial to both the married and the unmarried. Thru this topic, you will be able to find out if your wife was realy now given to you by God.

Let us all begin by raising also this  question. Is there a possibility that one’s wife was really given by God? Is God really giving man a wife? Let us read A prudent wife comes from the Lord. Therefore, if your wife is prudent, she was given to you by the Lord. So, is God really giving man a wife, or not? He is! And let us not forget that there was even a given adjective for that wife – prudent. If a wife is prudent, then, she came from God.

 On the other hand, if the wife is shameless, where could she have come from?  where does a wife who lacks prudence come from? Maybe you got what you deserved?

 

"“He that is of God heareth God’s voice words: ye therefore hear them not, because you are not of God.”

If she is not of God, whose is she then? John 8:44—

“Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.”

That is a very plain and simple declaration of facts. Christ said that there are people who are of God and there are also people who are not of God. And He directly said that those who are not of God are of the devil. “You are of your father the devil.” Therefore, there are only two groups of people on earth: one is of God, and the other is of the devil.

Now, there are wives that came from God. The Bible said, “a prudent wife is from the Lord.” A prudent wife . . . an intelligent, or a wise, wife . . . a conscientious wife is from God. Does a man have the capacity to find a prudent wife through his own means only? Should a man look for a prudent wife for himself? Let us read I Corinthians 7:27. It says—

“Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife.”

Married, divorced or single you still really do not really have to search for a wife. Do not search for a wife. A wife shouldn’t be looked for. God himself by means of his holy spirit his servant found a wife Sarah for Issac.

 

"There are still now a lot of married, people who did not actually search for their partners. Sometimes, a person simply sought for employment, and there in his place of work, he found his bride. Another man was forced to find a residence in the province because their house in the city was burned. So they had nowhere to go. Later on, he realized that, it was on that province where he would meet the woman who made his heart beat faster . . . whom he married eventually.

If you search, there is a great possibility that you end up frustrated because God does not want you to search for a wife and a prudent wife comes from God. And if she comes from the Lord, you do not have to exert any effort. God has His way, just like what He did to Adam. Did Adam ask God for a wife? No! But, do you know how Adam had a wife? Let us read Genesis 2:18, 21-24—

“And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a help meet for him. And the Lord God cause a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Adam did not ask God to give him a wife. God realized that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so He decided to make him a helpmate. And then, God put Adam in a deep slumber. He made Adam sleep deeply because He would perform a “surgery.” He would take a rib from Adam, so, He made him sleep first. Isn’t it that today, before a patient is operated, he is made to sleep first? That is the practice. When Adam was already sleeping very soundly, God took a rib from him, and that rib was made into a Woman – the woman, which God gave to him. And Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.”

Some people say that when God put Adam into a deep slumber, he did not wake up anymore, and that is the reason why many people today are “in slumber.” That is not true! Why? Because he even spoke when God gave him the woman. He said this is the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. When God took one of his ribs, there was also flesh attached to the rib. It was not like the ribs of pork (spare ribs) whose flesh would be scraped off by the butcher. That was why Adam said, “this is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.”

Was Adam aware of it, or not? Of course, he was aware. The act of putting Adam into a deep sleep is God’s way of sparing Adam from the pain of surgery.

Perhaps, others would say, why did the woman have to be taken out of Adam’s rib? Why did He not just make another person, a woman, from the dust of the earth? For them to become helpmates – a compatible helpmates. She really had to come from him so that they would practically be of the same age. Didn’t you realize that Adam and Eve were of the same age? Although Eve came a little later, the very fact that she came from Adam made her of the same age as him. That is the reason why they are suited for each other as a couple. God made Eve for Adam; Adam did not search for her. Neither did she ask God for her. God simply saw his need for a helpmate, so He gave him a wife. That is exactly what the Bible is saying: “A prudent wife is from the Lord.”

Now, let us proceed to the main concern of our topic. How are you going to know if your wife came from God? Try to analyze for yourself if your wife came from God. But, should you discover that she did not come from God, what are you supposed to do? Please do not ascribe the blame on me if you find out that your wife did not come from God. And please do not judge her right away. From the Bible, we will find ways on how to “repair” a wife that did not come from God to make her of God.

We can always make repairs; there is always a room for improvement. Do you believe that? By the power of God, He equipped every man with inner faculties. What I mean is that, we possess certain faculties that allow our body to repair and replenish itself. Notice how the wounds that we incur are healed. It all depends on our bodily metabolism and our immune system. Our immune system determines whether or not we can fight against a foreign body that enters our body. The immune system protects our wounds from sever infection. That is why sometimes we develop lymph nodes. Others think that lymph nodes are dangerous. It is not. Always remember that lymph nodes come from the wound, which is close to the heart. Try to observe this: Lymph nodes develop between the wound and the heart. Why? In order to hinder infection from easily reaching the heart.

Our beings possess certain features, which are meant to protect and repair our selves. Our body repairs itself. Take the nails as an example. Nails, which have been removed are replaced. The nail that had been hit by a hammer will replenish itself; a new nail will emerge later on.

If in case, based on the answer which we will derive from the Bible you found out that your wife did not really come from God, make sure that you submit her to a repair so that you would have a smooth-sailing relationship. I will teach you how to repair your wife.

Let us get to know first the wife that did not come from God. See for yourself what Proverbs 27:15 says about a woman who did not come from God—

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”

If the roof has holes, rainwater is bound to pass through them. A contentious woman was compared to a continual dropping of water on a rainy day. They were alike. Whenever rainwater passes through the holes of your roof, are you not annoyed? It is very annoying, especially if it happens when you are already about to sleep. If you will place a dipper where it falls, it will produce a ticking sound.

There was one particular evening when my attention was caught by the “tik-tak” sound that the dripping water from a faucet. My bed was quite near the bathroom, so I could hear every drop of water that fell. It so happened that the faucet had some loose connections, so even if you close it, water was still dripping. So, I placed a pail under it but the “tik-tak” sound got louder. And I really couldn’t sleep because of that annoying sound. There was also an instance that the ticking of the clock prevented me from falling asleep.

The Bibles says, the drops of water on a rainy day and a talkative woman are alike. Please, don’t get offended sisters, but this is what most women are. Proverbs 9:13—

“A foolish woman is clamorous . . .”

Is your wife talkative? Does she talk a lot? As far as the Bible is concerned, a talkative woman is foolish. She never stops from talking. From the time she wakes up in the morning until midnight, she never stops from talking. She nags everybody. She nags her children; she nags her grandchildren. She never stops. That is why, when Solomon made an analysis of women, this is what he realized; he said in Proverbs 21:9—

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than a brawling woman in a wide house."

Isn’t it that your house has a roof? Where do you stay? Definitely, you do not stay on the roof. You stay in the sala, in the dining room, and in the bedroom, but never on your housetop, or roof. The Bible says, it is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than—

“… than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

You may have a very big house, but if your wife is termagant and brawling even if you stay in one corner, you would still hear her nagging. She would even follow you wherever you go. That is why if you will not learn to develop patience and endurance, if you will not abide by God’s prescriptions, where do you think you’ll end up? Proverbs 21:19 says—

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”

 

It is better to dwell in the wilderness. Do you know what a wilderness is? A wilderness is a place not normally inhabited by people. And the Bible said, it is better to dwell there than live with a contentious and angry woman. A woman who is always angry and a contentious woman both never stop from talking. She is like a bell, which never stops from ringing. Actually, bells are even better because they ring only when there are occasions. But a talkative woman never stops. She talks even when there are other people around. She will embarrass you in front of your colleagues. (“Kulas! You are very lazy! Why don’t you cook rice now? What have you been doing there?”) She is not only talkative but also domineering. If you have that kind of a wife, according to the Bible, you are very unfortunate.

Sisters, please, don’t get mad at me if, in case, you are like that. Do not blame me. I only read what the Bible says. Do not be angry. Do not despair either because we will make the necessary repair. As I’ve told you, that attitude can still be repaired, because it is not right for a woman to be talkative, or contentious, or to easily flare up. Those are the traits of a woman that is not of God.

What is God’s doctrine for women for them to become of God? What does God want every woman to do? Let us read I Timothy 2:11—

“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.”

What is God telling the women? “Let the women learn in silence.” Why do God wants the woman to learn in silence? Because they are really noisy; they talk a lot. While chewing betel and nut, they talk about the lives of other people. They gossip a lot. (“Mare, have you heard about what happened to Pareng Gustin?” “Why, what happened?” “Somebody saw him yesterday in Avenida with another woman.” “Can you prove that?” “Don’t be angry with me. It was not I who saw him.”) And before you knew it, they are already pulling each other’s hair.

There are women who are like news reporters. They would go around the whole barrio to gather the latest gossips, which she would later relay to others. What did the Bible say? Proverbs 16:28—

“A froward man soweth strife, and a whisperer separateth chief friends.”

It is really not good to talk recklessly. A loquacious woman can sow strife among friends. The Bible calls her a “whisperer”. She gathers and delivers gossips to all people. In other words, she is a rumormonger. And a rumormonger can make people, even the best of friends, quarrel. For this reason, the women were admonished to learn in silence.

And after that, we are going to proceed with making repairs. If your wife will not pass the standards of the Bible, get ready to make the necessary repair. And if you, women, know for yourself that you did not meet the Biblical standards, then start making the appropriate changes. It is not hard to change. All it takes is faith in God.

God can help you change if you will only submit yourself to Him. He is powerful enough to change you. He can actually change even your whole being.

Now, let us find out the qualities of a wife that came from God. It has been mentioned earlier that a prudent wife is from the Lord. But, what are the specific qualities of a prudent wife that came from the Lord? Proverbs 31:10 says—

“Who can find a virtuous woman?”

The Bible introduces to you only one woman—

“Who can find a virtuous woman?”

How many women do the Bible mentions? There is only one woman for you. If God will ever give you a virtuous woman, He will definitely give you only one. If there are two women in your life, it is either one of them is not of God, or both of them are not of God! So, we have to test them according to the standards of the Bible. Proverbs 31:10--“Who can find a virtuous woman”? And what is she worth? Continue reading—

“For her price is far above rubies.”

A virtuous woman is valued more highly that any precious stone like rubies and diamonds. A prudent wife is worth much, much more than rubies.

How valuable is a prudent wife? Proverbs 18:22 says—

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”

How important is a woman to a man? A man who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour of the Lord. Just try to think about it: Because of God’s mercy to man, He gave him a woman.

Now tell me brothers, do you know how to saw, or mend clothes? Perhaps, you do, but you do it the way a woodpecker does. If there are holes in your underwear, would you be able to mend them? Who would iron your trousers? It not that easy to iron clothes, right? Who would wash your clothes? I just don’t know the reason why women have a way of making clothes whiter. Men just couldn’t make their shirts white even if they soak it overnight with soap and bleaching agent.

A woman can do many things which a man cannot. That is why, should a man finds a prudent and virtuous woman, he automatically obtains a favor from God; can you imagine that? You have found somebody who will cook for you. I know of a man who lived all by himself. So, for his breakfast he had sardines, tuna for his lunch, and pork and beans for his supper. Why? It was because he didn’t know how to cook. One time, I asked him, “Why don’t you dine out instead?” He said, he was trying to economize so he had to settle for canned goods. Imagine! His meals were laden with toxins and preservatives. But when he got married, his wife now cooks for him. That proves that, any man who finds a wife, indeed, finds a favor from God. A woman may bring a lot of blessings if only you will live with her the right way.

Today, many women bring strife to their husbands. It’s like being thrown into hell. If a woman would not learn God’s teachings, she might bring her husband to destruction. A man who is planning to settle down is often heard saying as, he heading for a peaceful life. What peaceful life is he talking about? How can you find peace when from morning to evening your wife is nagging you? You are simply looking for trouble. Later on, even you mother-in-law, your brothers-in-law, and your sisters-in-law are also nagging you.

Do you think getting married is that simple? You have to get along well with people who are not related to you. Remember, they are not your relatives; they are not related to you by blood. Your wife came from a different clan; the two of you have different likes and dislikes. It would not be much of a problem if you are going to live with your wife alone. But that is not so! You just cannot disown the brothers and sisters of your wife. You cannot tell your wife, “I do not care! I am married to you, and not to your relatives!” Can you do that? They are her brothers and sisters. If your wife has 9 brothers and sisters, and all of them are married, you have to get along well with them also, including their kin. And if those 9 have 3 kids each, you also have to get along with the 27 children. You have to realize that getting married is not that simple, if it did not happen in accordance with the will of God. A lot of trials await you, and you have to bear a lot of hardships. But if you fortunately found a virtuous woman, the Bible said, you have found a good thing, and a favor from God. Let us continue Proverbs 31:11—

“The hearth of her husband doth safely trust in her.”

A virtuous woman is trustworthy. Leave her, and you’ll find her as you left her. Even if you go abroad for 3 years, she will never betray your trust. You will never find yourself singing, “Napakasakit, Kuya Eddie” (It truly hurts)). Are you familiar with that song?

A man went to Saudi Arabia to work; he left his wife and their son here. But when he returned, he found out that his wife already had an additional son. He found out that while he was working in a construction firm in KSA, his wife was already lying in bed with another man. And worst was that, the bed was bought out of his monthly remittance to his wife. His wife spent his hard-earned money to another man. His wife is not trustworthy. The Bible says that—

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.”

He is therefore free of any fear and worry that his wife might fool around. She will never have any illicit affair; she will never cheat him. There are, indeed, trustworthy women!

I have witnessed how many women, after being taught of God’s doctrines, have become trustworthy. And once a woman learns God’s doctrines, her husband can be very sure that even if he leaves her for a long time, she will never look for another man because she truly loves her husband. The Bible says that—

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.”

What else did the Bible says?—

“. . . so that he shall have no need of spoil.”

See that? He shall have no need for spoil. Everything about her is valuable. There are women who are always in bed. I once heard my grandmother giving a warning to my brother. “Do not ever fall for that woman. I know her very well because she is my neighbor.” My brother asked her why. And my grandmother said, that woman was “a woman of the bed.”

I was wondering then why my grandmother called her “a woman of the bed”. But later on, I came to realize what she meant. Imagine, even if it was already 9 in the morning, she was still in bed while her husband was the one preparing the breakfast. She was like a senora. You will not get anything from such kind of a woman. What the Bible says is, he shall have no need for spoil. You cannot ask for more. Why? Let us continue Proverbs 31:12—

“She will do him good and not evil.”

See? She does her husband good, and not evil. When? During pay day only? There are wives who treat their husbands well only when she receives his full salary. She wipes his perspiration; she caresses her. But if the salary is not complete, she is nagging him. (“Why is it not complete? It is not even enough to pay Aling Epang! Where did the rest of your pay go?”) And she would even utter expletives.

But the woman of the Bible . . . the woman who came from God . . . will never get short of benefits. She will do him good deed, and not evil. When? Whenever he receives bigger salary? Let us read?—

“All the days of her life.”

She will do her husband good all the days of her life. The wedding vow will be fulfilled—“To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, until death do you part.” She will do her husband good all the days of her life. With or without salary, with or without employment, she is treating him well because he is her husband. “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” What else?—

“She seeketh wool, and flax.”

What kind of a woman is she? She seeks wool and flax. She knows how to work. You see, during the time of King Solomon, wool was being used as a medium of exchange. In other words, this woman knows how to work for their livelihood. She also seeks for flax. In the past, flax was the most expensive clothing material. Therefore, this woman is very useful. She works for their livelihood. What else? Proverbs 31:13 says—

“And worketh willingly with her hands.”

One of the best assets a person can have is willingness to work at his own volition. She doesn’t have to be ordered; she doesn’t have to be forced. A person who does things voluntarily has a strong sense of responsibility. And that sense of responsibility is what compels him to do things without being told. The Bible also adds in Proverbs 31:14—

“She is like the merchant’s ship.”

See? She is like a commercial shipping line; she is like a merchant’s ship. Have you seen a commercial ship? For example, a ship coming from Mindanao delivers banana to Luzon. And from Luzon, this ship will now deliver goods and crops back to Mindanao, and so on, and so forth. That is what a hardworking woman like – she is like a merchant’s ship. She never stops from working for their livelihood. The Bible says in Proverbs 31:14-15—

“She bringeth her food from afar; she riseth also while it is yet night.”

See how industrious she is? She rises even if it is still dark. However, there are women who rise when it is almost bedtime again. A virtuous woman is an early-riser. As early as 4, or 5, in the morning, she is already sweeping the yard. Let us continue reading the Bible in Proverbs 31:15—

“…and giveth meat to her household . . .”

She cooks food early. She would be cooking rice; she would be frying the fish; she would be preparing hot chocolate. In the past, one had to add butter to the chocolate to make it creamier and tastier. There was no Milo yet that time. So, she wakes up very early in the morning, and prepares the food for her household. Let us continue with what the Bible says in Proverbs. 31:15—

“. . . and a portion to her maidens . . .”

She gives their servants their respective assignments. Therefore, she is a woman of means because she has servants, or household helps. Proverbs 31:16 says that—

“ She considered a field, and buyeth it with the fruit of her hands, she planteth a vineyard.”
 

See? She even knows how to work in the field. And not only that. She also makes sure that the field is fertile before she decides on buying it. So, this woman really knows how to work. She is a self-reliant woman. Proverbs 31:17 says—

"She girdeth her loins with strength.”

She girds her loins; not her breasts. Unlike the other women who gird their breasts. The Bible says in Ezekiel 23:3—

“And they committed whoredoms in Egypt . . .”

Please, don’t get angry, but that is what the Bible says – WHORES. Must I change it? That is the preferred word of the Bible, and I have to use it. It says—

“… they committed whoredoms in Egypt . . . there their breasts pressed.”

Their breasts were pressed. They employed something that would press up their breasts. Do you know how it is called today? Bra, or brassieres! This was invented by Madam Brassiere. In the past, the women who were engaged in whoring had to press their breasts up. You see, if women are no longer young and attractive, they do something to be noticed. And one of which is to push up their sagging breasts. Let us read the verse once more. Ezekiel 23:3 says—

“And they committed whoredoms in Egypt; they committed whoredoms in their youth: there were their breast pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity.”

Perhaps, some of you are asking, why do I have to mention “breasts” and “teats”? What do you want me to do, change what the Bible said? That is the trouble with some pastors; they are full of hypocrisy! The Bible says—“they bruised their teats.” Must I change it? That is what makes me different from other pastors. I only use terms, which God uses. I do not have any intentions of changing the words of the Bible. Let us read what Leviticus 21:13-14 says—

“And he shall take a wife in her virginity, A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or a harlot, these shall he not take.”

You know, in the beginning, a servant of God was prohibited from marrying a harlot. Israel had been prohibited from marrying a harlot, or a divorced. That is just to show you that there are such words as profane and harlot in the Bible. That was what happened to Aholah and Alohibah. Let us read Ezekiel 23:4—

“And the names of them were Aholah the elder,and Aholibah her sister.”

Aholah and Aholibah girded their breasts to attract men. But, this virtuous woman that we are talking about girds her loins. That means that, she is strengthening her body for her work. What else did the Bible say? In Proverbs 31:17—

“ . . . and strengthening her arms.”

She is strengthening her arms in order to contribute to their livelihood. Let us continue reading Proverbs 31:18—

"She perceiveth that her merchandise is good.”

Her business is making money. See that? If you were her husband, will you not feel that you have found favor from God? Even if you do not work, you will not be bothered because you have a very industrious wife. But do not take advantage of her. We are not through yet. What I am saying is that, even if you are not employed, you still will not starve because your wife has a very stable disposition. She examines the field if it is productive, and then buys the field and then plants a vineyard. She strengthens her arms, and her produce is making profits. Proverbs 31:18—

“. . . her candle goeth not out by night.”

Her lamp/candle remains lighted in the evening. Why? Because she is still doing something. Perhaps, she is mending clothes. Unlike the other women who invite their husbands to go to bed the moment darkness spreads. “Dear, let’s go to bed now.” There are women who are like that. That is why you will see that even if her lastborn is barely 3 months old, she is already two months pregnant again. But the woman that the Bible is referring to does not readily turn off her light. She does not go to bet while there remains unfinished household chores. She doesn’t go to bet while the plates pile up in the lavatory. You see, if you leave overnight the unwashed plates, they are bound to attract cockroaches. And the microbes that the roaches leave on the plates may bring illness to the members of the household. So, an industrious woman mends clothes that need to be mended at night. She still performs some chores in the evening.

Proverbs 31:19—

“She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.”

She also knows how to weave fabrics.

Proverbs 31:20 says more—

“She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; . . .”

She is also compassionate to the poor. She is helpful to the needy. In Proverbs 31:20, it says—

“. . . yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”

She extends a hand to those who are in need.

Proverbs 31:21—

“She is not afraid of the snow for her household.”

In the past, once snow comes in Israel, you could no longer go out and work. You do not have a choice but to stay home. But this women is never troubled even if there is snow because she has a sufficient stock of food.

Proverbs 31:22—

“She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; . . .”

She can even embroider. You see, there are women whose pillows are also embroidered with stains of saliva. They look like the maps of Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao, including Panay islands and Palawan. But the pillow of this woman has real embroidery. Today, very few women are using embroidered pillowcases. Actually, even my own pillowcases are not embroidered, but this woman’s pillowcases are embroidered.

Proverbs 31:22—

“. . . her clothing is silk and purple.”

See that? She lives comfortably. Her clothing is made of silk, which is a first class clothing material. Why can she afford the finest clothes? It is because she is hardworking and industrious. In Proverbs 31:23, it says—

“Her husband is known in the gates, . . .”

Her husband has become very popular, and other men are envious of him for finding a virtuous and industrious wife. She is not talkative, and she still works in the evening. That is why her husband became very popular. He is, indeed, a very fortunate man.

“. . . When he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; . . .”

She also knows how to buy and sell. Proverbs 31:24-25 says—

“And delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing;”

Strength is her clothing. Therefore, she is really a hardworking woman.

“. . and she shall rejoice in time to come.”

See? She is not troubled; she does not worry if they have something to eat the next day. She is not bothered about the future because she has prepared for it.

Proverbs 31:26— “She openeth her mouth with wisdom;”

Is she talkative, or not? She opens her mouth with wisdom. And . . . “and In her tongue is the law of kindness.” In her tongue is the law of kindness.

Proverbs 31:27— “She looketh well to the ways of her household.”

She also looks well at the ways of her children. This woman does not neglect any of her responsibilities. Can you imagine if your wife is like this woman? You are assured that your wife came from God. She looks well at the ways of her household, and that includes her husband, her servants, her children, her nephews and nieces, and everybody else in her house.

Proverbs 31:27— “. . . and eateth not the bread of idleness.”

She does not eat in somebody else’s dining table. She does not depend on others for her food.

Proverbs 31:28—  “Her children arise up, and call her blessed;”

Her children tell her, “how blessed you are, mother.” You are blessed; you are truly blessed if you possess all those traits.

Proverbs 31:28-29— “… her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.”
She stands out among the other women. But, is she a beautiful woman?

Proverbs 31:30— “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Apparently, she is not very good-looking. And it does not necessarily follow that she is a beautiful wife. “Beauty is vain.” The physical appearance is not important. You may have a pretty wife but you could just be one of her many men. Would you prefer it that way? As a song says, if you want to be happy, look for an ugly woman. However, it does not mean that you will only consider ugly women. No! The physical appearance of a woman does not guarantee that she would become a good wife. Good for you if you find a woman who is not only good-looking but also virtuous as well. And above all else, she is also a God-fearing woman. Finding a beautiful, virtuous, and industrious woman is like finding a lot of platinum./ 

Proverbs 31:30— “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

That woman is praise-worthy.

Do you have that kind of a wife? Is your wife like her? If she is, then, she came from God. Who among you have that kind of wife? If your wife is her opposite, the, we must make the necessary repair. If your wife is not like her, we are going to study the ways by which we can make her like the woman in the Bible. According to God, that is possible. Because God is all-powerful, He can change a person, as well as her lifestyle. God can make all things better. At the same time, we are also going to study how a man and a woman should live together, and how they should bring up their children. "

You know the number one pastoral request I get so often is martial counseling still too.

Prayer requests- on praying

 

We should first address our prayers to God instead of sharing our needs with the others.. for we will not be so disappointed. We all tend to have common needs, prayer requests too sooner or later

 

(Mat 6:11 KJV)  Give us this day our daily bread.

 

(Mat 6:12 KJV)  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

 

(Mat 6:13 KJV)  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Oh that thou wouldest keep me from evil. I Chron. 4:10

Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. Luke 22:46

The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matt. 26:41

The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. Psa. 121:7

I will deliver thee out of the hand of the wicked, and I will redeem thee out of the hand of the terrible. Jer. 15:21

He that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not. I John 5:18

Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth. Rev. 3:10

The LORD knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations. II Pet. 2:9

If you are trying to live out your own life.. you still thus never know God's will and plan for you nor do it.. I am always amazed how many people try to live in this world without the personal help, leading of the Holy Spirit too.

If you are not praying as well for yourself, others then you really cannot expect to have your prayers answered, to reap what you have sowed in prayers.. many people have real negative aspects in their own life cause they have not prayed about it as well.

One of the most common prayer requests shared with pastors is one's bad spouse..

I am really sorry for any pain, suffering , hardship you are in and I ask God to now in Jesus name deliver you personally from all evil for his glory and benefit too.

 

Firstly every pastor must do marriage counseling,  https://pbulow.tripod.com/  and yes the most common thing people still do tend to ask prayer about are a soul mate, or their marriage, a job, or a better paying job, more money... persecutions,  abuses,  for one in 8 persons is rejected, in an abused relationship.. abused by  others too and if it is not the spouse, it can be the mother, father, brother, sister, in laws... I have counseled on this subject for about 35 years.. but I do still  refuse rightfully  to hear the slander, gossip, distortions about the other persons.. usually the complainer has faults he or she needs to deal with firstly

 

(Mat 7:3 KJV)  And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5  Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

 

- the first thing I would now suggest is that you do firstly pray for others who are having the same problem as you do.. 

 

- and the second thing I suggest is you learn to pay more attention to what God personal says to you.. learn to listen better to God and he will tell you what to do.. and still any divorce is out of the question.. but not separation.. and separation is not fun..

 

Please do also see now https://pbulow.tripod.com/abused.html  https://pbulow.tripod.com/persecuted.htm  http://b.1asphost.com/freelygiven/marriages.htm   https://pbulow.tripod.com/Divorce.html   http://groups.msn.com/CanadaToday3/hypocrisyii.msnw

 

and Jesus can be for you what you let him to be, a helper, a deliverer, a brother, a friend, a healer,

 

while the devil will still tempt you with cheating, lying, stealing, adultery, pornography, lust  still too..

 

neither money nor sex, power, fame will make you happy.. Jesus alone does. (John 15:5 KJV)  I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

 

(James 5:16 KJV)  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

 

(James 4:1 KJV)  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. 4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6  But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. 11  Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.  

 

Next stop trying to change anyone.. .. firstly ask God to change yourself.. doing so you can influence others

 

any Changes OF OTHERS to be done God will do.. they are his servants, slaves still too..

 

and rather do start instead to praise God for the bad situation you are in, that he God has knowingly allowed you to have a really bad spouse, that God knows your circumstances, etc.. then God will be free to act next on your situation. (Psa 22:3 KJV)  But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.

 

I would remind you and everyone else that one of the devil's full time job is to try to take us away from having any faith at all in Jesus Christ, who is God himself, and by any means.. thus we have to always have to be on guard about this and to make a deliberate conscious effort to turn our body, soul, sprit, mind unto Him Jesus and to Follow after Jesus. For Jesus alone now is all we need..

 

I have noticed in particularly in North America, and in American, Asian Movies, Radio and TV advertisements  the theme they do have too often is that all of us personally having more wealth, such as a job, car, house, clothes, food, money etc.,  or having  a soul mate, a good marriage partner, more sex  is what we all really need to be happy here on earth.. but neither is the truth in reality.. Jesus alone is all that what we need to be happy personally and  rich or poor, married or single..

 

(Luke 3:14 KJV)  And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.

 

(Phil 4:11 KJV)  Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

 

(1 Tim 6:8 KJV)  And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

 

(Heb 13:5 KJV)  Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

 

(1 Cor 7:29 KJV)  But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;31  And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

 

(Mat 6:33 KJV)  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;  

 

(Mat 18:15 KJV)  Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

 

(Mat 18:16 KJV)  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

 

It is also always inappropriate to discuss behind their  back as well publicly the shortcomings of a spouse.. doing so reveals that the tale bearer themselves is in the wrong, guilty of slander and of rebellion now as well.. rebellion even to God,  (James 3:8 KJV)  But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

 

A wife needs to be subservient and respectable towards her own husband.. and not  slander, abuse him before any of the others..

 

(Prov 31:12 KJV)  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

 

 (1 Sam 15:23 KJV)  For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.   (Prov 17:11 KJV)  An evil man seeketh only rebellion: therefore a cruel messenger shall be sent against him. 

PS:  I too did not understand many  wives need to read romantic books until years later I looked into them and they were sex porno's.. I was shocked when God then himself told me that a lot of the women's home magazines given out door to door freely were pornographic too.  In Long-standing concerns over pornography's corrupting influence are being confirmed by recent studies. Romance too often is still porno.. .. In past years restrictions on sexual content in the media were rejected by many secular observers. But the flood of Internet pornography is leading to second thoughts.    On Tuesday the New York Times reported about growing concern over the effects on children. The article reported on the findings published in last July's issue of the journal Pediatrics, in a study titled "Impact of the Media on Adolescent Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors."  There is no doubt, however, that young people are immersed, often without parental supervision, in a media culture abundant in increasingly graphic sexual content... Survey data collected at the November 2002 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in Chicago looked at the impact of Internet usage on marriages. At this meeting, 62% of the 350 attendees said the Internet had been a significant factor in divorces they had handled during the previous year.   They also observed that 68% of the divorce cases involved one party meeting a new love interest over the Internet. And 56% of the divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic Web sites.  Although Internet pornography is commonly consumed by one household member in a solitary fashion,  the impact of sexually explicit material is felt by the entire family, and the community in general.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church warns against pornography. No. 2354 noted that it not only offends chastity, but also does grave injury by making people the object of base pleasure. Moreover, "It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world." Fantasy or not, its impact is increasingly causing grave damage...  http://groups.msn.com/HolySpiritCome

Today, the only group you can hold up to public mockery is Christians. Attacks on the Church and Christianity are common. As Pat Buchanan once put it, “Christian-bashing is a popular indoor sport.”

But this should not surprise us. The world view, which more and more persons now have opted for, even if by default, is that of sexual perversions and secular humanism with its hope in mankind, not the God-man, Christ Jesus. Ironically, coupled with this world view is a certain despondency, disappointment, and discontentment with the job mankind is doing.

Jesus Christ had already warned that in the last days many false messiahs would arise, which, as John tells us will culminate in the Antichrist (1 John 2:18, 22; 4:3). All other beliefs are based on the teachings and ideas of those who were nothing more than mere men. No matter how brilliant, charismatic, or powerful they may be, there is no guarantee of their objectivity, accuracy or ultimate ability to deliver what they have promised. Other religious and philosophical leaders have come and gone, risen and fallen, but none have come back from the dead to carry on their work as did Jesus Christ.

What makes Christ’s person unique? The virgin birth of the Son of God, the incarnation, the birth of the God-man. Only the virgin birth can give an adequate answer to the phenomena of the uniqueness of Jesus Christ.
(1) In Christ’s life and ministry, he demonstrated who He was--the God-man, the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. He also declared His purpose—to die for our sin.

(2) In His death on the cross, Christ accomplished that purpose. He bore our sin in His sinless body on the tree. He died as our substitute, and took our judgment.

(3) By His resurrection, God proved the value of His Son’s death and the sinlessness of His Person. It proved Him to be the unique God-man.

We note the words of Jesus in John 14:6, "Jesus said to him,  'l am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" 

We observe the testimony of Peter in Acts 4:12, "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among mortals by which we must be saved." 

We hear the witness of John in I John 5:11-12, "And this is the testimony: God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life." 

Christianity is the only religion that Offers the Assurance and Security of Salvation in the present and from the time we first believed until we breath our last breath and beyond.
 
A.We have the assurance of a new life (1 John 3:14).
B.We have the assurance of divine care (Romans 8:28).
C.We have the assurance that God hears our prayers (1 John 5:13).
D.We have the assurance of a happy ending (2 Corinthians 5:1, 5-8).

All this brings wonderful peace and hope to the believer. We can know now that one day we will be with Jesus in heaven. 
 
 Christianity is unique because it is the only religion that teaches that Salvation is a Free Gift of God’s Grace. There is nothing a person can do to merit salvation, since it is received through faith, apart from works. The

All the armies that ever marched, all the navies that ever sailed, all the parliaments that ever sat, all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man on this earth as much as that one solitary life. Truly-

 The God of Christianity is claimed to be the only true God (Jeremiah 10:10; Jude 25).

The Bible is claimed to be the Word of God and the only true revelation from God (Isaiah 8:20; Revelation 22:18-19; 2 Timothy 3:16)

 The Biblical Way of Salvation is the only way of salvation. There is no other way (John 3:36).  No matter how good, religious or sincere a person may be, unless he or she has faith in Jesus they will not be saved. "Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12)

 Jesus Christ claims to be the only way to God, the only way of salvation and the only way to eternal life in heaven (John 3:16-17). Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me" (John 14:6).

Here is another evidence of the uniqueness of Christianity as an outgrowth of the life, death, and resurrection of Christ.

Hospitals, which essentially began during the Middle Ages.
Universities, which also began during the Middle Ages. In addition, most of the world’s greatest universities were started by Christians for Christian purposes.
Literacy and education for the masses.
Capitalism and free enterprise.
Representative government, particularly as it has been seen in the American experiment.
The separation of political powers.
Civil liberties.
The abolition of slavery, both in antiquity and in more modern times.
Modern science.
The discovery of the New World by Columbus.
The elevation of women.
Benevolence and charity; the good Samaritan ethic.
Higher standards of justice.
The elevation of the common man.
The condemnation of adultery, homosexuality, and other sexual perversions. This has helped to preserve the human race, and it has spared many from heartache.
High regard for human life.
The civilizing of many barbarian and primitive cultures.
The codifying and setting to writing of many of the world’s languages.
Greater development of art and music. The inspiration for the greatest works of art.
The countless changed lives transformed from liabilities into assets to society because of the gospel.
The eternal salvation of countless souls!

 

(Mat 10:13 KJV)  And if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it: but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you.

 

(Mat 10:34 KJV)  Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

 

(John 16:33 KJV)  These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

 

(John 14:27 KJV)  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

 

(Mark 4:39 KJV)  And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

 

(Rom 5:1 KJV)  Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

 

(Rom 8:6 KJV)  For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

 

(Rom 14:17 KJV)  For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.

 

(Rom 14:19 KJV)  Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

 

(Rom 15:13 KJV)  Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

 

(Rom 15:33 KJV)  Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen.

 

(Rom 16:20 KJV)  And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.

 

(1 Cor 1:3 KJV)  Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

(Gal 5:22 KJV)  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

 

(1 Cor 14:33 KJV)  For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

 

(2 Cor 13:11 KJV)  Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.

God bless you

https://pbulow.tripod.com/strife.htm

https://pbulow.tripod.com/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/05/30/grace/

http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com 

http://stayinhealth.wordpress.com/

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